Monday, November 3, 2014

Ignorant as always...

I like being weird. Is it weird that I like being weird or being weird is too weird?
Okay that's too many weirds in one sentence. Okay I'll shutup :P

Well I don't know I just can't help it maybe it's one of my many personality disorders haha. At times people say I am a closed book because they find it very hard to understand me or the way I think. At times I am so sure that my friends might even think that m an alien from another planet but they don't say it out loud though. Well to be honest nobody can understand me, not even me at times.

The other day I was just reading an art book which my sister got for me from her visit to Florence, its related to famous paintings and sculptures. And to be honest after reading it I felt like I was born in the wrong era.
Just looking at their paintings and sculptures especially I couldn't stop being fascinated. A sculpture which looked like actual human flesh. It's just mind-boggling when you come of think of it.
When I talk about art and art history like that nobody really understands except for my sister.

I mean come to think of it art covers literally every subject, be it science, geometry, maths, chemistry everything yet we still take it as an unimportant academic subject.
The golden ratio, almost all the famous paintings even things in nature are based on the golden ratio, apparently its a mathematical figure. Even photography is based on it. Google it you'll know.
Take human body for example it's the biggest piece of art. What else do you want as a proof?
Our face is composed of different geometrical shapes, our eye is that one of those many creations that fascinates me more than anything, it appears as solid yet it's fluid. It's like a natural camera.

You know what our real problem is? The real problem is that we've stopped using our brains, we've stopped thinking. If we actually start thinking about these things we'll find the answers of those many unanswered questions we used to ask ourselves before. Everything is right there in front of us simple and clear yet we make it so complicated.




Monday, October 27, 2014

That One Friend.....

In life at times we get so busy chasing our dreams, our careers that we often get blinded. Blinded by hate, selfishness, our minds start revolving around technology, we become materialistic. We stop realizing or noticing the people around us. We only start thinking about ourselves, all we think about is I, what I want to do, what I have done, how I feel. And when that happens things eventually start going wrong. We start hurting our loved ones, our friends and family.
There comes a time when you have achieved everything that you wanted but you still feel empty. You still feel incomplete. You still feel unsatisfied.
I've come across alot of people who became my very good friends at some point in life, I actually started thinking that they'd stick with me for good but when time came they showed their true colours. And those same people now don't even bother saying hi. 
At times you befriend such people in life who make you forget everything, people with whom every minute seems beautiful, and you just want the time to freeze, with them nothing else seems important. They understand your unspoken words, they seem to read your mind everytime there's a wrinkle in your forehead. They can see your eyes and tell that you're scared, they know when you're happy, they know when you're sad. Talking to them for a few hours erases all your stress, it's just like meditation. They understand what nobody else does. With them every minute seems worth it.

If all you guys have that one friend who completely understands you, you're lucky, value them. Because trust me all your life you'll come across the most selfish people ever and you'll never know who has your best interests at heart.
So don't get too lost in your life that you stop noticing who and what matters the most.

Saturday, October 11, 2014

Confessions Of An Introvert.....

So here I am after a month of hectic days. Hello there people Eid Mubarak! Yes I know I am late but something is better than nothing cuz all this time I was buried under drawing assignments still am haha that's my life now.
But I am truely loving it now so no more complains :P
And thanks to all those who commmented on my previous post unfortunately due to blogger issues I am unable to publish my replies.
Well eid days weren't really great for me, in short I don't really fancy festive days or family gatherings hehe instead I'd rather be in my pjs and in my room reading a book maybe or painting. No I am not depressed or lonely or sad or anti-social at all.
I just don't like talking and smiling alot why don't people get that.
So university has been pretty hectic lately I made friends after three to four weeks passed by. Yes you can say I'm very slow at this. 
Whenever my classes get over the half an half that I get until my van comes is more likely the time in which I sit down, look around and contemplate. I like to look for things that no one else catches.
But at times I get weird expressions from my friends when I tell them that it's alright with me if I am sitting alone this is the gist of being misunderstood as an introvert. And it happens a lot.
I wouldn’t say being an introvert is all about wanting to stay inside, read books, and never interact with other humans ever again; introverts simply acknowledge that they evolve and grow best when they’re alone. Sometimes, my friends think the cool things I want to do are lame, but that doesn’t stop me from doing them on my own anyway. I like being alone, and there’s absolutely nothing wrong with that!

At time people think it's a pity that I am sitting alone. The one thing that totally annoys me to death when people think that way. Not everybody is an extrovert. Most of my new friends bunk their classes to go for group outings and gatherings while I choose not to go since bunking is not okay with me. They think m missing out on all the cool things.
I don’t think I miss out on anything, because I get to do anything I want, disruption-free, instead. I just plan my time and activities very well and make the most of it.

At times our friends think we introverts are boring and have no life just because we don’t do whatever is considered cool or sociable.   We just have our different worlds, that’s all: Ours exist in books, libraries, the beach, in meditation. Our lives are always there, in and within.


Friday, September 5, 2014

Something I've Waited So Long For......

As a child you once passed by a toy store and just when you pass by your eye caught the most amazing action figure or a doll house on the window of that very toy store . And since that very day you've been longing to get that toy maybe on your birthday or just any other day but for some reason your parents were unable to buy you that toy. And whenever you pass by that toy store and glance up at that window everything goes dark and all you see is that toy you've been longing to have for so long.

And then one day when you wake up and see that very toy on your bedroom table. Don't you just wanna scream and shout out of happiness? 

Isn't the feeling just so exquisite when you finally get what you want after all that time?

I feel just the same today. As a child what started as drawing stupid lil wobbly figures with a bunch of crayons ultimately became my passion and since that very day when I first picked up the crayon and started scribbling on the paper I knew it deep down that that's what I wanna do all my life. Be an ARTIST.
And today after so long after all the tantrums and fuss I created I finally get what I've always wanted. Well I am not exactly in an art school but I am doing what I've wanted to do.

I remember all those times when I used to sit at the back of the class during those boring lectures hiding from the teacher's eagle eyes with my notebook open pretending as if I was making notes but what I actually used to do was sketch all the way. Writing my name in god knows how many different ways, making tiny, little funny figurines :P
All those annoying moments when I felt like smacking them on their face when people used to ask me "Oh you're so good at drawing why are you studying this instead?"

And knowing that now I wouldn't have to do all that anymore or answer those annoying questions anymore cuz those are my subjects now, it's just so overwhelming. I've anticipated every minute in my life for this moment, I can't even explain it in words. I feel just that little kid who finally got his toy after waiting so long. I feel like jumping and screaming. And to be honest I am very thankful to all those people who've always pushed me to do what I wanted even when I doubted myself, and to all those who've done nothing but encourage me.

Anyways but there goes many days when I don't even draw or doodle, I don't pick up the pencil or a paintbrush or even a book, days in which I don't do anything literally. It's not because there's lack of inspiration or an underplaying of emotions but because I am not exactly in the right mood for a creative expression. And on those very days I spend long hours contemplating about life or spend long hours sleeping. And in those times I just need some space for rejuvenation. And nobody seems to understand this very side of me.

You know I've always been a quiet sort of person, the kind of person who wouldn't feel alone even if I am alone. I have a book with me at all times just incase, haha yeah well that's how I am. I'd start scribbling when m bored to death well I wouldn't exactly put it as scribbling more like doodling you can say. 
Some people say I am really weird or boring which actually gets me thinking that just because I don't talk alot and keep things to myself and read lots of books and always listen to music does that actually make me weird and boring. 

Idk how about people who are reading this tell me, answer this question for me maybe. Which actually makes me wonder if anyone is actually reading this. Hello there whoever you are or not.

Monday, August 4, 2014

Why?

I am there
But I am not there
I am hearing them speak
But I am not listening

I want to talk
But it's all useless since they won't understand
Making a mockery is way too easy
But understanding the real reason behind all this silence is way too difficult

It may seem like everything's alright
But nobody can tell that something is wrong
Why am I so lost in a place that I've known so well?
Why am I so quiet among the people whom I call family?
Why do I feel alone when I'm surrounded by so many?

Where should I go to find peace and a place where I belong?


Tuesday, July 8, 2014

Blueberry Muffins



That's ginger having cake crumbs :P


So I noticed I haven't been posting recipes at all lately. But today is day finally haha. So I tried blueberry muffins yesterday and I swear this muffin is the best one ever. Even my cat loved it :P
The best muffins are eaten slightly warmed with softened butter. Ahhh perfect bliss I tell you. The sweetness of the blueberries just blend in perfectly along with the moist sponge and topped with warm butter, which just sort of ties up all the flavours bursting your mouth with sweetness.
And what I like about baking muffins is that they are totally hassle free to make, all you have to do is mix it all up and ta-daaa you're good to go.

Ingredients:

1 cup fresh ripe blueberries
(Apparently in my country we don't get fresh blueberries, so I used the American Garden Blueberry Topping which are available in tins)
2 cups flour 
1 cup sugar 
2 1/2 tsp baking powder 
1/2 tsp salt
2 large eggs, room temperature 
1/2 cup buttermilk 
(For those who don't have buttermilk, mix milk with 1 tbsp vinegar and use it after five minutes)
1/3 cup vegetable oil 
1 1/2 tsp vanilla  
Coarse sugar for dusting

You will also need
Muffin/cupcake liners, regular muffin tin (12 muffin capacity), 2 mixing bowls, whisk

Prep Time: 15 Minutes Cook Time: 20 Minutes Total Time: 35 Minutes Servings: 12 standard size muffins
 
Method:
Line a standard size muffin tin (12 muffins) with muffin/cupcake liners, or lightly with non stick cooking spray. 

In a mixing bowl, sift together flour, sugar, baking powder, and salt.

In another mixing bowl, whisk together eggs, buttermilk, vegetable oil and vanilla.

Mix wet ingredients into dry using as few stirs as possible; you want slightly lumpy batter, a few streaks of flour are fine. Do not over-mix.

Fill each cup all the way to the top with batter. I find the easiest way to do this is by using an ice cream scoop. One generous scoop of batter will fill each muffin cup.
 
Now what I did was I didn't mix the blueberry topping in the whole batter I used it in the centre while filling up my muffin tray. But for those who are using fresh blueberries they can mix everything in the batter. But be careful don't overmix.

When the pan is filled with batter, sprinkle the top of each muffin lightly with coarse sugar. This will add some sweet sparkle and texture to the top of each muffin.

Bake muffins for 10 minutes. Turn the muffin tin around (180 degrees) and continue to bake for 5-10 minutes more, or until the muffin tops are golden and springy to the touch. Start testing after 5 minutes, and take them out as soon as they turn springy... don't overcook them, or they'll become dry.




Monday, July 7, 2014

Enjoy the lil things....

The other day I was making a scrapbook for my friend's birthday, a friend who practically has everything and is very dear to me. Somebody saw me making it and said you could give her something else rather than this stupid scrapbook. 
This got me wondering we human beings have become so materialistic isn't it?, our lives revolve around laptops, smartphones, technology, bags, shoes and god know what.


Well to be honest I could have given her something else as well but nothing could fill in those memories that a simple book can. A few photographs from your schooldays can take you back to the past you don't even need Hermione Granger's timeturner for that, a few embarrassing pictures can make you laugh your ass off, a few lines can bring tears in your eyes.  

I don't know maybe you guys won't agree with what m saying but we often forget there's so much that life has to offer to us but we are too busy to notice those things because we are so busy planning out our lives for future that we forget about the present. 

The thing is we are blinded by technology nowadays, I mean how often do you guys actually sit and have a proper family dinner. I'm sure not that often. Our parents are talking to us but we are busy texting someone on the phone. We don't realize that we are missing way too much.

I've always been attracted to mere ordinary things, a mother's hug, sitting on my house's rooftop and looking up at the night sky, enjoying the sunset, looking at the birds chirping early morning or just watching my pet play soccer with a simple paperball. Getting bunch of books or just handmade card as a birthday present. It's the sentiments that count not the objects.

You see we have made our lives so very complicated all we see is material objects, oh what brand is he/she wearing, where are they going for a vacation etcetera etcetera. Just take a stroll in the park in the evening or at night and sit and just look up at the sky. Admire it's beauty or for instance just go to the beach and observe the sunset you'll know what you were missing. 

We always dream about what we don't have and what we have to achieve but how about we actually start thanking God for what we already have. We fail to notice the charm of the things we already have but realize it only when they're taken away from us. Isn't it?

We are busy chasing material objects. But what we fail to notice is that some of the best things in life are for free. We only need to start looking around and acknowledge them.



Sunday, June 29, 2014

Life is too short, Live a little

It's beyond me that some people can be so manipulative, they manipulate their words in such a way that you're forced to listen to them, and that you start doubting yourself.
Sometimes we human beings are so busy doing our own long-term plannings that we often forget the fact that our lives are limited and that we won't be living forever. 

That's when a quote comes in my mind "Life is too short, enjoy it to your fullest".
But ye sub kehnay ki baatein hain nobody ever follows it. They'll nod their heads for a minute maybe and then after that they get back to what they were doing.

I mean guys just come to think of it, we plan years ahead of us, if not years then months, we'll do this we'll do that, we'll go for a vacation, I'll be planning the best birthday party ever, we even plan break-ups. 
Study in a certain field because agay jakey khuwari nai karni paregi', you'll have a secure job and future, marry this guy because his family is nice, or just simply picking up a certain dress in the shop cuz the material is good and it'll last longer. 
Isn't that how we usually think?
We are all busy looking at the long term effect of thing or our action BUT what if we don't even live that long. 

I am not being a pessimist here but that's the truth we all often forget. I am not saying that it's wrong to be prepared beforehand, what m saying is why do something forcefully just for the sake of making somebody happy, or just because it can bring long-term happiness. What if it doesn't, what if it doesn't go as you planned. Things never go as you plan, you don't even know what difference will the next minute bring in your life.

People go on making schedules of what they'll be doing a whole week or a whole month while here I am never sticking to what I plan. 

So rather than listening to people isn't it better to do what you think is right or do what you heart says? Atleast you'll be free from all the feeling of regret 
that you'll have later.

I've been there, done that and trust me it's not a very great feeling. I hate people trying to tell me all the time what to do, what is good for me, what is right or what is best or worst of all what WILL be best in future. It can be annoying isn't it?
Now when m trying to get things back in the right track, the last thing I want is someone lecturing me that I should not do it. I am done listening to people and pleasing everyone
It seems like one big mess, you try to untangle one knot and yet another knot is made waiting to be untangled and then another and so on.

So rather than planning out each minute of your lives, why not live a little because as they say life is too short.



Wednesday, June 18, 2014

Grenade waiting to explode....

Sitting here in the office, while m sulking over the bunch of evaluation forms I have to tabulate, honestly speaking I feel like burning all of these because they're really giving me a headache. 
Out of all the people they had to give me this mindless job, I mean seriously I can do way better than this. The only problem with me is I don't know how to say no to work.
If I was getting something in return I'd be happy enough to do it. The fact the after doing all this mindless job I ain't getting anything or any pleasure, there's no sense of motivation. It's just really pissing me off today. 

On top of that my stupid laptop keeps on hanging, there's nothing that can evaporate my anger right now. I feel like smacking it on somebody's head right now or maybe smashing it with a baseball bat. 

I hate staying at home during summer vacations and now m hating this place too. 
Rage is welled up inside me right now, m stuck here doing some brainless work while I could have stayed at home and done something else. This is just INSANE. 

It just gets me wondering how do people actually sit in one place and work, I mean come to think of it, they come to the same place everyday, do the same work, wear almost same kinda clothes. Isn't it just boring?

I mean I wouldn't mind doing it if I were doing something I like but still, life is about exploring why confine yourself to one spot when you can do something else. There's is so much social pressure at times, you have to do things in a certain way because "loag kya socheingay". 

I sometimes really wish I was a boy, atleast I could get away with things without having to answer to anyone. 


Thursday, June 5, 2014

Summers

With the summer vacations going on, for some odd reason I've become super lazy I don't know why. But it's weird I was all excited about my internship and stuff but now I just don't feel like going back there. That's the problem with me I get bored very easily, I need something new, something interesting now, something different. 

Being at home seems peaceful, God knows how will I ever be able to run my own business with this kinda attitude. Gosh I'm weird I know and confusing too, can't help it. 

So on the other hand I've been baking alot lately but I've stopped experimenting new things, I should do that more often. I've been painting alot, oil painting and watercolours, I even thought about selling my paintings but then I just ignored that thought. 

So I have FINALLY talked to my family about switching from BBA :P 
Gosh it took alot of courage to talk to my mum but oh well tears always work :P
I should've used that tactic before I'm so stupid.

One thing I really wanted to do this summers was travel to northern areas of Pakistan. Get to see the nature's beauty, take some time away from the city but it's not possible for the time being. 

The other thing I want to do which I can still do is learn to play a guitar.

On the other hand it seems as people forget you as soon as the semester ends, all the text messages I get the whole day are from Djuice and Telenor internet, depressing right? 
*sigh*

I feel dead seriously, I have been working on a scrapbook lately for my best friend's birthday, and now I know why do people charge so much for selling these customized scrapbooks, that's cuz there's shit loads of work in it, very time comsuming and alot of sticking to do, the only part of DIY which I hate :P

So that's it for now.
Laters ;)



Sunday, June 1, 2014

Ginger - My Lil Furball :')

Just when everything seemed sad and depressing, my sister brought me a lil kitten with the summer vacations on the go. As nervous as I was to hold it, when it was handed to me for the first time it just felt like one of those moments when a newly-born baby is given to the mother haha. 

It looked up at me with it's big beady eyes wondering who I was. Like how Sherlock tries to figure people out with just one look. 

This fuzzy little creature in a shoebox brought a smile on my face just instantly. A tiny little ball of fur, light amber in colour with streaks of white fur blending in just perfectly. It's big beady watery eyes giving away a look of cuteness, it's tiny little baby pink nose and the big ears sticking out. It's paws were soft, but as soon as you touch it, the sharp nails stick out as of wolverine's hahaha :P

It slept after a while, sleeping like it hadn't slept for a while. Gosh I could watch it sleep all day, it looked so adorable. 

So when Ginger (yes that's what I named him) finally decides to wake up, he starts getting friendly with me realizing that he'll have to live with me now. Following me as I go about the room, playful, fluffy little ginger starts wagging it's tail. Playing with the ball running around the room kicking the ball and making mini jumps, playing football with it's own self. Busy in exploring my room from every angle. 

Guess now I don't even need an alarm clock to wake up early in the morning as Ginger wakes me up. I was fast asleep when I felt something fluffy beside me. My eyes fluttered open at the touch, and I see ginger looking at me as if it was studying me all this time, sitting on the cushion just like a king, it stood up and came and sat on my pillow. I was surprised as it was cuddling, I  resisted the urge to move it away from my pillow, ginger rested his chin atop my head, sniffing compulsively, jumping up nuzzling against my hair.










That's the thing about these lil furballs they've enslaved the mankind with their cuteness :')

Wednesday, May 21, 2014

Nobody Understands...


There comes a time in life when you desperately want to share your feelings, express yourself to someone cuz all this time you've been bottling up your thoughts. It's just so difficult to talk to somebody because nobody would understand you better than yourself. 

Even if you do share your thoughts, they'd think you are a piece of boring shit whose always confused and whining. Everybody seems too busy or they are least bothered.

You can't seem to find a reason for your existence, sometimes you really need a shoulder to cry on, a reassuring smile which tells you that don't worry everything's going to be just fine. 

Looking around for a friend, who once used to see your worried face and could tell that something is wrong. It's weird how people make promises and forget them so easily, or pretend that they care, but they don't, say they'll always stick around but they don't.

Being alone feels best most of the times, infact even when you're among people your mind is wandering somewhere else. 

Sometimes scribbling on a piece of paper feels better then actually talking to someone.

Here I am lying down, looking up, watching the sky with the winds blowing, the space above me, closet to heavens, and most beautiful and majectic at night. 

It's just like meditation like a stress releasing therapy. Sometimes that's all you want to do, listen to soft music, look up to  the sky, and contemplate or just cry. 

The sky is sometimes seen as vast and empty but all I see is a gigantic doorway to adventures and dreams.

Saturday, May 17, 2014

Lost

Nothing seems to go my way  
Frustrated as always  
I try to love and live happily  
But all has become a distant reality now,  
A momentary pleasure  
Sifting through the old memories,  
It's nostalgic  
Trapped in a place where there is no way out  
All this bitterness in these shrouds of darkness  
They seem to spread like poison  
I ask myself again and again
Why me?  
But all I hear is the sound of silence.

Friday, May 16, 2014

*Sigh*

When everything is going just fine something has to go wrong. Is it like the universal law of life or something?
I don't know but it's bothering me alot.
This semester started off just fine, I actually made nice friends for a changing, started trusting people, made good memories,our laughter, lame jokes and god knows what not.
And I actually felt like going to university, I had that urge k 'nai aaj chutti nai karni'.
But I guess my happiness is bound to not last longer. I am not being cynical at all, but that's how it is.
All of a sudden from the past 3 weeks since I started working, my friends have been giving me cold shoulders, just when the semester is about to end. Weird isn't it? Why do I always come across back-stabbing and fake people. And why do they always come up to me when they need help.

I've always listened to everybody, I was always there when they had nobody to pour their heart too, but when I need somebody I hardly ever find anyone.
Loyalty is something I treasure truly. But I don't get it in return. 
Sometimes I really wish I had super-powers, so that I could read minds as to what do they actually think about me so that I wouldn't really have to keep up with their fakeness. Being among a bunch of people I call friends , these days I feel as if m standing with a bunch of strangers. I'd rather be alone.
Sometime I just feel like escaping, going somewhere far away. If only I could do whatever the hell I wanted to do, listen to my heart, follow my dreams.
Baking is something that I love doing, I can never say no to it. But these days I don't even do that.
Have been bottling up my feelings lately cuz there's nobody to listen to my crap anyways.

Sunday, May 4, 2014

Peace Arts Competition

Hey guys,
Hope everyone is doing fine :)
So as I mentioned earlier I've been busy with my internship these days which is going great, I actually don't feel like leaving that place anymore. Though my studies are getting neglected but khair hai. I have been working on the Peace Arts Competition organized by the Charter for Compassion which took place in korangi areas and targeted the korangi schools.

It feels so good to be a part of a good cause, and especially when it has something to do with arts, something I totally love. So there were 10 workshops in total, 2 workshops in one day. Gosh it was a tough job I tell you with scorching heat in Karachi but was fun at the same time. I used to get migranes almost everyday. :D
These workshops catered about 200 children and adults where art  instructors volunteered and taught the participants various drawing and painting techniques. Participants were provided with art kits by the Charter for Compassion during the workshops. This workshop went on from 26th April to 1st May.
And the enthusiasm children showed there was beyond amazing. So much talent that has been neglected all along. The topics for the art competition were 'Fruits of Peace' and 'Roots of Peace'.
Though I was not supposed to participate but I still made a painting cuz I couldn't resist my temptation to paint but that painting doesn't count haha because I made it for my own satisfaction.









Wednesday, April 16, 2014

Thinking Out Loud

Hey guys,
Hope everyone's doing fine.
So the reason m writing this blog today is to take my mind off things, to pour in my feelings and my frustration here. So yeah basically it means you'll have to read all the crap. You don't have to by the way. Well the choice is yours. 

Nevermind; so I have been super busy these days and multitasking as always :P
I had a really very long day today. Lately I have been juggling with my university classes, internship and well not to forget asssignments, projects and quizzes. Pretty hectic I'd say but well that's life, can't run away from it even if I want to. Haha I so wish I could go back to my childhood years, things were so easy back then. 

Khair, so lately I came across alot of things to ponder over like seriously my head is overloaded with thoughts, I don't know what to do, who should I talk to, or how to get rid of these thoughts I just can't help thinking about them. It's just weird. Just come to think of it most of us kill our dreams thinking k "loag kya sochengay" ya "humein is field mein naukri mileygi ya nahi".
I mean it's true I am a victim of sorts. But you know what end of the day it's the choices we ourselves make, nobody else is to blame. Yes you cannot undo your decisions but you can certainly make changes. As it's often said that "It's never too late".

But nowadays I feel like I am just stuck somewhere, and in order to get somewhere it's really important to get out. But I just don't have the courage to do so. I am scared of failing once again trying to convince my parents. The other day I heard someone say that it's really important to love what you do, because then only you can excel in your life. Doing something that doesn't satisfy you is a complete waste.

Everyday I pull myself out of the bed unwilling to come to university because I don't like what m doing. I feel like fading away in the air. Going somewhere far where no one would find me. Sitting all by myself getting lost in my deep thoughts. *sigh*

If J.K Rowling hadn't tried again and again after several rejections from publishing houses, we wouldn't have been reading Harry Potter today.  So that's the story I've been telling myself again and again lately to convince myself to never stop trying.

 So I confused stuck in a dilemma as always, whether I should quit what m doing and follow my heart or do the other way round. I have all my friends here and quitting and starting newly means a drastic change.

Hayee so yeah that's what's happening with me these days.

Tuesday, April 8, 2014

Forever doesn't exist

Hey there guys so I've never been good at writing poems but the first ever poem I wrote Stuck with a feeling got selected in IBA's event so it feels really good. So here's another one:

How we once used to promise each other that we'll be friends forever
That no matter what we'll stick together
No matter what happens we won't fight
We used to share every lil detail
Act as crazy as we can when we used to be together
As silly as one could get
Laugh our ass off
Getting mad at each other on purpose just to tease 
Texting all day long till our fingers hurt
But still we never ran out of things to talk about
Never got bored of each other's company
Instead we became so used to it that without texting each other, life seemed incomplete
Our lives were like intertwined
But
Sometime isn't it weird how that one misunderstanding can change everything 
How that one fight can bring everything down
How your best friend can become your enemy in a minute
How those promises of forever turn into a few short months that you'd give anything to have it back.
How life can be so unpredictable
How people come and go
Here I am with nowhere to do
With a hole left in my heart
Deep down there's pain which cannot be felt 
Cannot be seen.
My tears hold my fears
I miss you more than words 
All that I have is equal to nothing
All I can wish for is
Wishing you were here



Wednesday, April 2, 2014

Cupcake Craze


As I passed by the patisserie my eyes fell on the freshly baked batch of scrumptious cupcakes kept on display. Feeling wishful, someday I’ll have my own patisserie where people would be rushing in to buy my cute lil pretty cuppycakes.
Looking at the cupcake, it’s just like a blissful sight. Almost like one of those moments when you see a new born baby and you go like ‘awwww’. So yeah that’s how it is with me. Out of all those cupcakes the pink one catches my eye. The chocolate cupcake wrapped in a baby pink polka dot cupcake liner. It almost appeared as if the cupcake was dressed in 80s style.
Dark brown, scrumptious, moist chocolate sponge covered with Chocolate Coffee Buttercream with a rich chocolate ganache drizzled on top. The swirl of icing on top of the cupcake done with perfection. These little beauties brought a smile on my face. It’s just like a piece of art. Tempting as it looked trying to resist my temptation but somehow I was unable to do so.
I finally manage to walk in the patisserie with great pleasure thinking of buying a batch of that cupcake. And as I walk in, the sweet whiff of all the baked items make my stomach growl. After a while I come out with a box of six cute lil cuppycakes. My heart melts when I look at the cupcakes, so tempted to eat them there and then, pondering over the question that how can somebody not have a cupcake or not like it.
I ignore all my stupid thoughts and take a bite. And I get lost in the taste as if I’ve entered a food heaven. The ooey gooey chocolate sponge along with the icing just melted in my mouth. Not too sugary, it tasted perfect. On the scale of dark chocolate to milk chocolate, this cupcake was more similar to dark chocolate. And the fact that I enjoy dark chocolate I enjoyed it more
Combining the sweetness of Chocolate Coffee Buttercream icing with the bitter taste of the cupcake meant the flavors simply aided each other by being complete opposites. I think they were meant for each other.

Monday, March 24, 2014

This feeling....

As gloomy as it gets
Like the dementors have sucked out all the happiness
Unsatisfied of everything
Looking for a reason to smile
But somehow unable to find one
Everything looks like it has been painted in black and white
A feeling of emptiness all over
A sad feeling sits deep in the soul
Everything seems meaningless
It feels like something is missing
But you don't exactly know what that is
It's just like the time has frozen
Going round and round in your head
Thinking what's wrong
Unable to figure it out
Wishing you could undo whatever you've done wrong in life
If only you had a time turner
But oh well all in vain

Thursday, March 20, 2014

Books - Eternal Sanctuary

Flipping through the pages of the novel, I realized that I've read it all. Craving for more just because I hadn't gotten enough of this book.
And this happens to me all the time whenever I realize that I've completed the book, especially with the ones I love. I read them over and over and over again until I've memorized it. Hehe :P
Has that ever happened to you?
I'm sure it has, all you book-a-holics must be nodding heads.
My friends think m crazy because whenever they see me with a thick novel they'll be like "buhat fazool time hai tumharay pass". Little do they know about the perks and fun of reading. It takes you to a whole new different world without even having to travel. Makes you forget all your miseries and shows you a different life which almost seems like reality. It's like a movie going on inside your mind while you read. You can never be alone when you have a book with you .
From Hogwards to Narnia, from Paris to Afghanistan I've been everywhere thanks to all the books I've read. And the one book series that I've read for a gazillion time is the Harry Potter series. I think it's an absolute sin not to read it like seriously. I mean how can somebody not like it. And oh also the two books by Dan Brown, The Da Vinci Code and Angels and Demons, the books which kept me awake entire nights. I used to read it under the blanket with a torch because my sister won't let me switch on the lights.
Crazy right? :P
No wonder I have a weak eyesight.
The one book that made me cry was A thousand splendid suns by Khaled Hosseini. An amazing captivating read, a tear-jerker. 
On a rainy day people like going out and having fun but I'd rather be inside my blanket with a book along with a mug of coffee. Total bliss ^_^
"It isn't what the book costs, it's what will it cost when you don't read it."


Friday, March 14, 2014

Explore - That's what will take you ahead

Whenever people see me draw or bake. They get awed as to how did I learn it or who taught me.
And I always exclaim that I've learned it all by myself.
Well guys let me get this clear, see if you have an urge to learn something and you really really want to learn it you'll need to start exploring all by yourself.
Because that's exactly what I did. And in this modern era you have the INTERNET guys, what else do you need, everything is like one click away you don't even have to go out.
You know what our actual problem is?
Well keep thinking m sure you won't be able to find an answer that is unbiased.
The actual problem is we, ourselves, nowadays everybody wants to have everything on a silver platter. In other words 'kisi ko mehnat nahi karni bus paka pakaya hua chahiye'.
They just don't want to explore or work hard for it. They just don't want to help themselves. You see that's the reason we are still behind. I mean I still see guys in colleges getting their practical journals made from girls. 
See I am not saying that asking for help is a bad thing but it's not very good either. We should keep that option as the last resort when we've tried every possible way to help ourselves but were somehow unable to do so. 
And you know what the things you learn and the problems you solve all by yourself it actually gives you alot to learn. Just like we say a person learns from his/her mistakes. 
From what I remember it's been five years that I started baking and you guys won't believe it that I actually didn't own an oven when I started baking I used to do it on the stovetop. I was so fond of baking that I actually found out a way to bake even when you don't have an oven.
I don't even remember asking anybody to give me a tried and tested recipe of cupcakes. Well sometimes it's worth taking the risk :)
 I mean why would I do that when I have the internet.
That's our problem we don't do productive things at all, all we do is waste our time and take things for granted.
Why go ask people for help when you can do it yourself. I've always had this in myself that I don't go asking for help from anyone unless I really really need it. And let me get this clear there's a huge difference in need and want so please don't get me wrong
Most of us ask for help not because they need it, they want it.
So you see the difference?
See always remember never keep yourself from learning something new. Always have an urge to learn and explore because that's what will take you ahead. 
And the things you'll learn from exploring you'll never forget them :)

That's it for now guys I better go and study for my exam tomorrow.