Friday, September 5, 2014

Something I've Waited So Long For......

As a child you once passed by a toy store and just when you pass by your eye caught the most amazing action figure or a doll house on the window of that very toy store . And since that very day you've been longing to get that toy maybe on your birthday or just any other day but for some reason your parents were unable to buy you that toy. And whenever you pass by that toy store and glance up at that window everything goes dark and all you see is that toy you've been longing to have for so long.

And then one day when you wake up and see that very toy on your bedroom table. Don't you just wanna scream and shout out of happiness? 

Isn't the feeling just so exquisite when you finally get what you want after all that time?

I feel just the same today. As a child what started as drawing stupid lil wobbly figures with a bunch of crayons ultimately became my passion and since that very day when I first picked up the crayon and started scribbling on the paper I knew it deep down that that's what I wanna do all my life. Be an ARTIST.
And today after so long after all the tantrums and fuss I created I finally get what I've always wanted. Well I am not exactly in an art school but I am doing what I've wanted to do.

I remember all those times when I used to sit at the back of the class during those boring lectures hiding from the teacher's eagle eyes with my notebook open pretending as if I was making notes but what I actually used to do was sketch all the way. Writing my name in god knows how many different ways, making tiny, little funny figurines :P
All those annoying moments when I felt like smacking them on their face when people used to ask me "Oh you're so good at drawing why are you studying this instead?"

And knowing that now I wouldn't have to do all that anymore or answer those annoying questions anymore cuz those are my subjects now, it's just so overwhelming. I've anticipated every minute in my life for this moment, I can't even explain it in words. I feel just that little kid who finally got his toy after waiting so long. I feel like jumping and screaming. And to be honest I am very thankful to all those people who've always pushed me to do what I wanted even when I doubted myself, and to all those who've done nothing but encourage me.

Anyways but there goes many days when I don't even draw or doodle, I don't pick up the pencil or a paintbrush or even a book, days in which I don't do anything literally. It's not because there's lack of inspiration or an underplaying of emotions but because I am not exactly in the right mood for a creative expression. And on those very days I spend long hours contemplating about life or spend long hours sleeping. And in those times I just need some space for rejuvenation. And nobody seems to understand this very side of me.

You know I've always been a quiet sort of person, the kind of person who wouldn't feel alone even if I am alone. I have a book with me at all times just incase, haha yeah well that's how I am. I'd start scribbling when m bored to death well I wouldn't exactly put it as scribbling more like doodling you can say. 
Some people say I am really weird or boring which actually gets me thinking that just because I don't talk alot and keep things to myself and read lots of books and always listen to music does that actually make me weird and boring. 

Idk how about people who are reading this tell me, answer this question for me maybe. Which actually makes me wonder if anyone is actually reading this. Hello there whoever you are or not.

4 comments:

  1. Bore, not at all. Artists are like the way you are. Don't worry about the people around you, they are ones who don't understand art or you. Be the way you are, and let the ones who understand you come for you.

    Appreciate your work, your writeups, your sketching and your doodling. Even if no one appreciates, be sure that I am the one loving it all. So, keep doing your work. You rock, really!!

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    1. Thanks alot yousuf, it means alot :)

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  2. Hey babes m happy for u for what u opted now.. and i have known u for quite a few years and we werent even that open but i doo knw thay u are a very creative person with loads of talent hidden within u.. and i know ull reach the heights.. InShaaAllah.. all the best for ur future..and yes we are reading this and it is very normal for a talented person such as u be silent becuz there is soo much interesting already going inside of u.. that u are least worried abt the outside world.. keep smiling and do remember to do wat u love doing.. becuz u have a clear prespective about ur likes and dislikes and wat u do best. Stay positive love to see u this way.. God bless u..
    Love Zarmeen Syed

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    1. You saying that has brought a big smile on my face, it means alot really.
      Thanks alot for all the love and appreciation Zarmeen ♥.

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