The need of wanting to be in control of everything all the time sometimes makes you even more vulnerable.
It's like a fight within yourself of wanting to be in control yet enjoying the freedom of carelessness.
You can't have it both ways.
You can't have it both ways.
You can either lose control and let things take their pace or be in control and still not be certain if things will happen as you please!
It's mindfuck isn't it?
It's mindfuck isn't it?
What really is alluring about control?
Well control means security. We want to feel safe all the time. We want to belief that we've got it all handled. We want to know what will happen next so that we don't have to worry about anything else.
The truth is we are never in control.
Well control means security. We want to feel safe all the time. We want to belief that we've got it all handled. We want to know what will happen next so that we don't have to worry about anything else.
The truth is we are never in control.
At times I feel that we humans overthink every little action of ours in order to justify the things that happen to us.
The things I've been feeling since a week or two hit me with a realization that sometimes the over acheiver in me rears it's head every now and then trying to control the outcome of my actions if they don't go as planned.
The magnitude of my dreams and goals scare me because at times it feels like that's all I've got.
Yes I'm afraid of making mistakes. I'm super cautious of what I do and I wouldn't be willing to take a risk most of the times. As crazy as I want myself to be I still want to have control.
You can't be crazy when you have puppet strings attached to you.
Which in return makes my creative side suffer most of the times.
Yes it's a lava of frustration, helplessness, depression, sadness, anger. And it's not pretty! It consumes you.
The magnitude of my dreams and goals scare me because at times it feels like that's all I've got.
Yes I'm afraid of making mistakes. I'm super cautious of what I do and I wouldn't be willing to take a risk most of the times. As crazy as I want myself to be I still want to have control.
You can't be crazy when you have puppet strings attached to you.
Which in return makes my creative side suffer most of the times.
Yes it's a lava of frustration, helplessness, depression, sadness, anger. And it's not pretty! It consumes you.
It's messy to be in that headspace but what's even more difficult is to pull yourself out of it everyday and telling yourself it'll be fine!
Just keeping yourself together in front of people pretending it's all cool breeze and happy sunny days when actually there is a volcano inside you just waiting to erupt.
Just keeping yourself together in front of people pretending it's all cool breeze and happy sunny days when actually there is a volcano inside you just waiting to erupt.
This fight within myself takes a toll on me. But now I've made peace with the fact that sometimes I should just let things be and stop thinking about every little detail.
There's no such thing as CONTROL.
But you can always BELIEVE that things will fall into place in it's own time.
There's no such thing as CONTROL.
But you can always BELIEVE that things will fall into place in it's own time.
