Something I've Waited So Long For......

As a child you once passed by a toy store and just when you pass by your eye caught the most amazing action figure or a doll house on the window of that very toy store . And since that very day you've been longing to get that toy maybe on your birthday or just any other day but for some reason your parents were unable to buy you that toy. And whenever you pass by that toy store and glance up at that window everything goes dark and all you see is that toy you've been longing to have for so long.

And then one day when you wake up and see that very toy on your bedroom table. Don't you just wanna scream and shout out of happiness? 

Isn't the feeling just so exquisite when you finally get what you want after all that time?

I feel just the same today. As a child what started as drawing stupid lil wobbly figures with a bunch of crayons ultimately became my passion and since that very day when I first picked up the crayon and started scribbling on the paper I knew it deep down that that's what I wanna do all my life. Be an ARTIST.

And today after so long after all the tantrums and fuss I created I finally get what I've always wanted. Well I am not exactly in an art school but I am doing what I've wanted to do.

I remember all those times when I used to sit at the back of the class during those boring lectures hiding from the teacher's eagle eyes with my notebook open pretending as if I was making notes but what I actually used to do was sketch all the way. Writing my name in god knows how many different ways, making tiny, little funny figurines :P
All those annoying moments when I felt like smacking them on their face when people used to ask me "Oh you're so good at drawing why are you studying this instead?"

And knowing that now I wouldn't have to do all that anymore or answer those annoying questions anymore cuz those are my subjects now, it's just so overwhelming. I've anticipated every minute in my life for this moment, I can't even explain it in words. I feel just that little kid who finally got his toy after waiting so long. I feel like jumping and screaming. And to be honest I am very thankful to all those people who've always pushed me to do what I wanted even when I doubted myself, and to all those who've done nothing but encourage me.

Anyways but there goes many days when I don't even draw or doodle, I don't pick up the pencil or a paintbrush or even a book, days in which I don't do anything literally. It's not because there's lack of inspiration or an underplaying of emotions but because I am not exactly in the right mood for a creative expression. And on those very days I spend long hours contemplating about life or spend long hours sleeping. And in those times I just need some space for rejuvenation. And nobody seems to understand this very side of me.

You know I've always been a quiet sort of person, the kind of person who wouldn't feel alone even if I am alone. I have a book with me at all times just incase, haha yeah well that's how I am. I'd start scribbling when m bored to death well I wouldn't exactly put it as scribbling more like doodling you can say. 

Some people say I am really weird or boring which actually gets me thinking that just because I don't talk alot and keep things to myself and read lots of books and always listen to music does that actually make me weird and boring. 

Idk how about people who are reading this tell me, answer this question for me maybe. Which actually makes me wonder if anyone is actually reading this. Hello there whoever you are or not.

Stuck in a Dilemma

No matter what you study or whichever field you choose, it always comes down to one question i.e “Will you get suitable job opportunities for going into a particular field?” Some people might judge me on this statement but that’s not how I think but I am rather forced to think that way by our own society.

After passing out from college you have loads of things to look forward to, a whole new chapter of life is about to begin. From university applications to aptitude tests it all seems good. But when it comes to choosing fields apart from medicine, business studies, engineering, LLB every university has loads to offer but well you are forced to choose the field ‘jis mein aapko koi achi naukri mil jaye.’

Like seriously it’s so difficult for me to understand this mindset of people. Since I’ve always wanted to pursue arts but well there’s not a single day when I don’t get to hear that art is pure waste of time and there’s no scope for arts blah blah blah. People can be so discouraging. I’ve already regretted two years in college by choosing pre-medical even though I had least interest in it. Now I don’t want to make another four years of my life hell just so that I get a good job.

Some of you must be thinking that I am exaggerating but well I am just concerned. While seeking advice from a senior who’s also studying in an art school she advised me not to waste my time on something that doesn't fulfill or satisfy me. There are plenty of jobs available in all fields of art it’s just a matter of marketing myself. Making money should not be a priority right now as a prospective university student; instead I should just focus on being successful.

So I am just confused because my family is pushing me to do BBA and I want to pursue a career in arts. SO that really puts me into a difficult position. The other day I even considered the option for BBA and well I started checking its courses and bloody hell they just sounded so dull and boring. How can I even do accounts, economics and what no -____-  

So I hope I figure out the solution to my problem soon. But here’s an advice for you, do what you really want to do, because you don’t want to regret your decision afterwards. J

PAINTING, A Canvas To My Imagination

Life goes on and another year has started. Time passes with the wink of an eye and here I am. Before coming to college I never realized that I was so much into arts because I had buried my dreams under a pile of sand because I was trying to live upto other’s expectations. All I had in mind was that I want to become a successful doctor just because I watched a couple of seasons of House M.D a medical T.V show which inspired me to choose medical. But that was all temporary I guess.

I’ve met many people in my life who have inspired me a lot. Sometime in the journey of life you met certain people who leave an everlasting effect on you, who influence you a lot, with whom you share mutual interests, and who inspire you to follow your dreams no matter what the consequences are. They are just like free birds that don’t give a damn about the world and are really happy in their own lives.

I as a child always aspired to become an artist cuz I’ve always been indulged in arts. In kindergarden what started as drawing wobbly figures has become one of my passions. But most of the time I am seeking approval and trying to live upto other’s expectation. I often get told by my sister that I am not creative or the people around me that painting and drawing are just pure waste of time.

Arts provide all kind of beauty in our world. Sometime you don’t realize that we have arts everywhere. The chair you are sitting on right now was designed and constructed by someone, the shoes you are wearing is also art, the music you listen to was composed by someone. So just take a look around yourself for a minute you’ll see art in every tiny little thing. Not having art is just like living in a black and white world trust me.

Art for me is communication is a creative and artistic way. I like to draw or paint with soft music playing in the background. For me it’s like digging deep down into my emotions, either from my subconscious or something that is affecting my life right at this moment and bringing them out on the canvas. I love to express myself through pencil, colours and with my brush strokes.

“Art washes away from your soul the dust of everyday life.”

When people say to me that I’m wasting my time in arts it just disheartens me. So I ignore such people cuz I seriously don’t feel the need to explain myself to others. Art is like meditation to me it stimulates my mind as I throw all my emotions on a blank piece of paper. Art is an opportunity to express what you think, what you feel, what you love or hate, what you admire from the past, what you wish to change and whatever you admire.

And each one of us has a different perspective of seeing things which is based on different experiences, our surroundings and beliefs and when you paint transfer a part of yourself on the canvas. Your art reflects your personality, your goals, how you perceive things and it inspires others.

“Every artist dips his brush in his soul and paints his own nature into his picture”

Many of us don’t find the things that we are really good at, just because we aren’t given the freedom to explore. And art is one such thing that helps us in discovering our talents. So remember if you are good at something and it gives you happiness pursue it, always follow your intuitions and let it bring happiness throughout your life.

“No matter what people say there’s creativity is everyone”

Here are few of the things that I drew randomly :)