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While trying to stay away she lost herself among the crowd. Everything slowly started to lose its colour, things were changing fast. 
There was a whirlwind of emotions. 
There was chaos inside. 
There was satisfaction but no happiness. 
There was an unresolved feeling, which kept coming back again and again. 
It laid quietly within her controlling all of what she did. It engulfed her in it's ferociously beautiful waves. It engulfed her so completely that she felt like she was drowning underneath the waves.

She was not the same anymore. 

PARADOX

She was doing fine, getting on with her life like everyone else, doing what she always wanted to, but after a while it all just started to look meaningless. Everything stopped making sense anymore, there was a constant nagging feeling inside. A feeling even she was unable to explain, maybe she didn't know what it was or maybe she thought nobody would understand. 

She would just burst out in tears randomly not knowing what was wrong. Everything was getting to her. Everything was changing too fast. She didn't want to belong to this world anymore. She wanted to get away, sit on the beach all day long or maybe watch the night sky for hours.

She was a paradox. She wanted to be happy but she thought about things that make her sad. She was lazy yet ambitious. She didn't like herself but she also loved who she was. She said she didn't care, but she really did. She craved attention, but rejected it when it came her way. 

She was a conflicted contradiction. If she couldn't figure herself out there's no way anyone else ever could.