Living the moments

Life is a big mystery, one just doesn't know what's gonna happen next, yet we still try to live in the future planning years ahead of us or maybe live in the past regretting the mistakes we've made or reminiscing those joyful memories instead of living the moments. 

That's what we do most of the time isn't it?

We've forgotten what it's like to live in the present. We drag ourselves out of our beds everyday dull, tired and grumpy, following the usual routine so sick and tired of our lives. 

We have the chance to make anything right but instead we'll just sit around and regret what we did wrong.

You know life is full of surprises, you never know when and where but truly there are surprises anywhere or everywhere. Well good or bad surprise I can't really say. 

Turn that corner you could meet a new friend, turn another corner there could be a job opening somewhere waiting for you. 

Turn around maybe you'll find the book you've been looking for so long but couldn't find it anywhere. 

Saying someone goodbye without even knowing that it could be your last goodbye.

You know that's life.

We just don't know what's gonna happen. 

And knowing all this, we neglect those things or those people who matter the most in our lives. We are just so busy being self-centred.

Open your drawer where there lies a book you never even wanted to read . Read that, you might end up loving every bit of it.

Try out something new,  you never know you might be good at cooking or painting or lets say computers or you might even be good at writing poems.

Just try, how would you know if you don't even try. You might end up finding a new talent hidden inside you which you didn't even know existed..

We've trapped our lives in this tiny screen called cellphones, I mean what's the point of any of this. Telling people what your life is like or what are you upto. Well trust me nobody gives a shit about it. Nobody will show up at your doorsteps when you need them.

End of the day nobody cares except for family or a few close friends.

There's so much out there to explore. You don’t want to miss it, do you?  Yet, we have stopped looking and we are missing it every day. We walk right past life’s surprises in the rush and rut of our routines.  We are just stuck in our daily routines or long-term promises. It could be we just stopped believing in surprises altogether.

At times I just feel like packing my bags and going somewhere. I don't know where but out of this place for sometime somewhere where everyone is unfamiliar.

Yes that's me wanting to explore the unexplored beauty out there.

Ignorant as always...

I like being weird. Is it weird that I like being weird or being weird is too weird?
Okay that's too many weirds in one sentence. Okay I'll shutup :P

Well I don't know I just can't help it maybe it's one of my many personality disorders haha. At times people say I am a closed book because they find it very hard to understand me or the way I think. At times I am so sure that my friends might even think that m an alien from another planet but they don't say it out loud though. Well to be honest nobody can understand me, not even me at times.

The other day I was just reading an art book which my sister got for me from her visit to Florence, its related to famous paintings and sculptures. And to be honest after reading it I felt like I was born in the wrong era.
Just looking at their paintings and sculptures especially I couldn't stop being fascinated. A sculpture which looked like actual human flesh. It's just mind-boggling when you come of think of it.
When I talk about art and art history like that nobody really understands except for my sister.

I mean come to think of it art covers literally every subject, be it science, geometry, maths, chemistry everything yet we still take it as an unimportant academic subject.
The golden ratio, almost all the famous paintings even things in nature are based on the golden ratio, apparently its a mathematical figure. Even photography is based on it. Google it you'll know.
Take human body for example it's the biggest piece of art. What else do you want as a proof?
Our face is composed of different geometrical shapes, our eye is that one of those many creations that fascinates me more than anything, it appears as solid yet it's fluid. It's like a natural camera.

You know what our real problem is? The real problem is that we've stopped using our brains, we've stopped thinking. If we actually start thinking about these things we'll find the answers of those many unanswered questions we used to ask ourselves before. Everything is right there in front of us simple and clear yet we make it so complicated.

That One Friend.....

In life at times we get so busy chasing our dreams, our careers that we often get blinded. Blinded by hate, selfishness, our minds start revolving around technology, we become materialistic. We stop realizing or noticing the people around us. We only start thinking about ourselves, all we think about is I, what I want to do, what I have done, how I feel. And when that happens things eventually start going wrong. We start hurting our loved ones, our friends and family.

There comes a time when you have achieved everything that you wanted but you still feel empty. You still feel incomplete. You still feel unsatisfied.

I've come across alot of people who became my very good friends at some point in life, I actually started thinking that they'd stick with me for good but when time came they showed their true colours. And those same people now don't even bother saying hi. 

At times you befriend such people in life who make you forget everything, people with whom every minute seems beautiful, and you just want the time to freeze, with them nothing else seems important. They understand your unspoken words, they seem to read your mind everytime there's a wrinkle in your forehead. They can see your eyes and tell that you're scared, they know when you're happy, they know when you're sad. Talking to them for a few hours erases all your stress, it's just like meditation. They understand what nobody else does. With them every minute seems worth it.

If all you guys have that one friend who completely understands you, you're lucky, value them. Because trust me all your life you'll come across the most selfish people ever and you'll never know who has your best interests at heart.

So don't get too lost in your life that you stop noticing who and what matters the most.

Confessions Of An Introvert.....

So here I am after a month of hectic days. Hello there people Eid Mubarak! Yes I know I am late but something is better than nothing cuz all this time I was buried under drawing assignments still am haha that's my life now.
But I am truely loving it now so no more complains :P
And thanks to all those who commmented on my previous post unfortunately due to blogger issues I am unable to publish my replies.
Well eid days weren't really great for me, in short I don't really fancy festive days or family gatherings hehe instead I'd rather be in my pjs and in my room reading a book maybe or painting. No I am not depressed or lonely or sad or anti-social at all.
I just don't like talking and smiling alot why don't people get that.
So university has been pretty hectic lately I made friends after three to four weeks passed by. Yes you can say I'm very slow at this. 
Whenever my classes get over the half an half that I get until my van comes is more likely the time in which I sit down, look around and contemplate. I like to look for things that no one else catches.
But at times I get weird expressions from my friends when I tell them that it's alright with me if I am sitting alone this is the gist of being misunderstood as an introvert. And it happens a lot.
I wouldn’t say being an introvert is all about wanting to stay inside, read books, and never interact with other humans ever again; introverts simply acknowledge that they evolve and grow best when they’re alone. Sometimes, my friends think the cool things I want to do are lame, but that doesn’t stop me from doing them on my own anyway. I like being alone, and there’s absolutely nothing wrong with that!

At time people think it's a pity that I am sitting alone. The one thing that totally annoys me to death when people think that way. Not everybody is an extrovert. Most of my new friends bunk their classes to go for group outings and gatherings while I choose not to go since bunking is not okay with me. They think m missing out on all the cool things.
I don’t think I miss out on anything, because I get to do anything I want, disruption-free, instead. I just plan my time and activities very well and make the most of it.

At times our friends think we introverts are boring and have no life just because we don’t do whatever is considered cool or sociable.   We just have our different worlds, that’s all: Ours exist in books, libraries, the beach, in meditation. Our lives are always there, in and within.

Something I've Waited So Long For......

As a child you once passed by a toy store and just when you pass by your eye caught the most amazing action figure or a doll house on the window of that very toy store . And since that very day you've been longing to get that toy maybe on your birthday or just any other day but for some reason your parents were unable to buy you that toy. And whenever you pass by that toy store and glance up at that window everything goes dark and all you see is that toy you've been longing to have for so long.

And then one day when you wake up and see that very toy on your bedroom table. Don't you just wanna scream and shout out of happiness? 

Isn't the feeling just so exquisite when you finally get what you want after all that time?

I feel just the same today. As a child what started as drawing stupid lil wobbly figures with a bunch of crayons ultimately became my passion and since that very day when I first picked up the crayon and started scribbling on the paper I knew it deep down that that's what I wanna do all my life. Be an ARTIST.

And today after so long after all the tantrums and fuss I created I finally get what I've always wanted. Well I am not exactly in an art school but I am doing what I've wanted to do.

I remember all those times when I used to sit at the back of the class during those boring lectures hiding from the teacher's eagle eyes with my notebook open pretending as if I was making notes but what I actually used to do was sketch all the way. Writing my name in god knows how many different ways, making tiny, little funny figurines :P
All those annoying moments when I felt like smacking them on their face when people used to ask me "Oh you're so good at drawing why are you studying this instead?"

And knowing that now I wouldn't have to do all that anymore or answer those annoying questions anymore cuz those are my subjects now, it's just so overwhelming. I've anticipated every minute in my life for this moment, I can't even explain it in words. I feel just that little kid who finally got his toy after waiting so long. I feel like jumping and screaming. And to be honest I am very thankful to all those people who've always pushed me to do what I wanted even when I doubted myself, and to all those who've done nothing but encourage me.

Anyways but there goes many days when I don't even draw or doodle, I don't pick up the pencil or a paintbrush or even a book, days in which I don't do anything literally. It's not because there's lack of inspiration or an underplaying of emotions but because I am not exactly in the right mood for a creative expression. And on those very days I spend long hours contemplating about life or spend long hours sleeping. And in those times I just need some space for rejuvenation. And nobody seems to understand this very side of me.

You know I've always been a quiet sort of person, the kind of person who wouldn't feel alone even if I am alone. I have a book with me at all times just incase, haha yeah well that's how I am. I'd start scribbling when m bored to death well I wouldn't exactly put it as scribbling more like doodling you can say. 

Some people say I am really weird or boring which actually gets me thinking that just because I don't talk alot and keep things to myself and read lots of books and always listen to music does that actually make me weird and boring. 

Idk how about people who are reading this tell me, answer this question for me maybe. Which actually makes me wonder if anyone is actually reading this. Hello there whoever you are or not.

Why?

I am there
But I am not there
I am hearing them speak
But I am not listening

I want to talk
But it's all useless since they won't understand
Making a mockery is way too easy
But understanding the real reason behind all this silence is way too difficult

It may seem like everything's alright
But nobody can tell that something is wrong
Why am I so lost in a place that I've known so well?
Why am I so quiet among the people whom I call family?
Why do I feel alone when I'm surrounded by so many?

Where should I go to find peace and a place where I belong?

Blueberry Muffins

That's ginger having cake crumbs :P

So I noticed I haven't been posting recipes at all lately. But today is day finally haha. So I tried blueberry muffins yesterday and I swear this muffin is the best one ever. Even my cat loved it :P
The best muffins are eaten slightly warmed with softened butter. Ahhh perfect bliss I tell you. The sweetness of the blueberries just blend in perfectly along with the moist sponge and topped with warm butter, which just sort of ties up all the flavours bursting your mouth with sweetness.
And what I like about baking muffins is that they are totally hassle free to make, all you have to do is mix it all up and ta-daaa you're good to go.

Ingredients:

1 cup fresh ripe blueberries
(Apparently in my country we don't get fresh blueberries, so I used the American Garden Blueberry Topping which are available in tins)
2 cups flour 
1 cup sugar 
2 1/2 tsp baking powder 
1/2 tsp salt
2 large eggs, room temperature 
1/2 cup buttermilk 
(For those who don't have buttermilk, mix milk with 1 tbsp vinegar and use it after five minutes)
1/3 cup vegetable oil 
1 1/2 tsp vanilla  
Coarse sugar for dusting

You will also need
Muffin/cupcake liners, regular muffin tin (12 muffin capacity), 2 mixing bowls, whisk

Prep Time: 15 Minutes Cook Time: 20 Minutes Total Time: 35 Minutes Servings: 12 standard size muffins
 
Method:
Line a standard size muffin tin (12 muffins) with muffin/cupcake liners, or lightly with non stick cooking spray. 

In a mixing bowl, sift together flour, sugar, baking powder, and salt.

In another mixing bowl, whisk together eggs, buttermilk, vegetable oil and vanilla.

Mix wet ingredients into dry using as few stirs as possible; you want slightly lumpy batter, a few streaks of flour are fine. Do not over-mix.

Fill each cup all the way to the top with batter. I find the easiest way to do this is by using an ice cream scoop. One generous scoop of batter will fill each muffin cup.
 
Now what I did was I didn't mix the blueberry topping in the whole batter I used it in the centre while filling up my muffin tray. But for those who are using fresh blueberries they can mix everything in the batter. But be careful don't overmix.

When the pan is filled with batter, sprinkle the top of each muffin lightly with coarse sugar. This will add some sweet sparkle and texture to the top of each muffin.

Bake muffins for 10 minutes. Turn the muffin tin around (180 degrees) and continue to bake for 5-10 minutes more, or until the muffin tops are golden and springy to the touch. Start testing after 5 minutes, and take them out as soon as they turn springy... don't overcook them, or they'll become dry.