'Perfect' as we all say it.

'Perfect'. That is just the word that has pretty much messed up our minds or maybe our lives.
I'm sure everyone is very familiar with this word, infact we pretty much have a habit of idealizing the very perfect things in life. Not that they are perfect but we just like to see it that way because we just want it so badly. 
Just like we accept the love we think we deserve.
Isn't that right?

Haven't you ever dreamt of having the perfect job, or maybe the perfect life partner, or the perfect vacation?
Well yes each on of us has a different definition of perfect in our dictionary, we visualize all that stuff in our heads.

But we often do get so blinded by those perfect images painted in our heads that we start doubting the very things that come along our way. We stop giving anything a chance cuz it doesn't seem as good or accurate as the images we've already painted in our heads. it's the fear that takes over.
Trying out new things scare us because well what if it doesn't turn out the way you want it to be.

But lets face it no matter what we do we cannot control everything in our lives. 
But we cannot just wait and do nothing either because things don't happen on their own right? We've got to take chances, we need to stop doubting so much, we need to let go and have faith because well maybe good things don't always come in pretty boxes.

Tbh I'm guilty of doing the exact same thing but well I'm trying as well and so should you. 

Caged....

Fun is what we stop having when we start looking for it in our memories. That’s what we do right? Well that’s what I've been doing lately. Well to be honest I do believe in seizing the moment and living it but for some time I forgot that the present time is just slipping away from our hands.

I just got so lost in my previous memories that I somehow forgot what it was like to actually have fun or what it was like to smile at little things. I stopped exploring new things. I stopped talking to people. I became a closed book; well I still am to be honest.

There have been days where I would just stare at the blank paper for hours with a pencil in my hand not knowing what to draw or to doodle. I felt as if my hands had forgotten to do what they are best in doing. That’s when I realized what my worst fear was. There were also the days when I would just stare at the pages of my favourite book and not read a single word. And days when I wouldn't even feel like stepping in the kitchen to bake cupcakes. And then I would start crying not knowing what the reason was.

Weird?

I know.

In a place where I am free to do what I love I still feel as if I am shackled with chains. I feel as if I am free but caged at the same time.

I guess we all set so many boundaries for ourselves that there comes a point when you start feeling claustrophobic. The boundaries you had set for yourself eventually start suffocating you. And that’s when you feel that everything is going wrong even if it isn't.

You know it’s just another one of those things I don’t understand: everyone impresses upon you how unique you are, encouraging you to cultivate your individuality while at the same time trying to squish you and everyone else into the same ridiculous mould.

Irony Of Life

The time when you feel lonely is the time when you need to be alone. Yup that is life's cruelest irony.

Life never stops, as you keep moving forward in life you keep meeting new people but you keep looking back again and again, and think that all those people who were once a part of your present actually matter alot.
You know why you think that way? Because all those people influenced you in many ways, and being with them once used to make you feel good, but not anymore.

As you keep moving forward in life you keep looking back it's human nature. There's always something you'd want to go back to.

But life never stops for anyone at any point.

Everybody comes crawling to you when they have work from you but nobody gives a rat's ass when you need to talk to someone.

You lose yourself in this weird world where nobody could know you, you are surrounded by people you know yet you are still alone.

Your friends surround you and yet you sit alone.

You start crying at the drop of a hat.

You are free but you feel caged.

All they do is judge you for being silent.

Both Worlds

It's just so ironic that when you wish for that one thing, that one thing you've always ever wanted and that one thing you thought would always make you happy when you finally get it, it ends up making you not very happy.

Well maybe it does make you happy for a while but then after sometime it just loses it's charm.
It's just not overwhelming anymore.
It's just not that shiny new toy anymore.

Well I don't mean to sound ungrateful at all but I'm just stating the fact, that's how it is. Right?

At one point I used to think that satisfaction and happiness go hand in hand. But now I don't think that's how it is anymore. I don't know maybe I am wrong. Or maybe too many expectations just lead to disappointments.

You know how we think that when we'll get what we want, it'll just change everything. And that very picture we paint in our mind about that drastic change that's gonna take place. 
Well maybe that change is not very drastic maybe it's not even close to a change or maybe it's way too drastic, more than you ever expected.
That's exactly where your fear and disappointment starts.

Usually when you start a new journey of life, you feel enthusiastic and fearful at the same time. Enthusiastic for the new experiences that you'll be having and the fear of losing people who are important to you. 
And on goes those long weepy messages and those long promises of staying in touch forever. 
Then as you go along the path unravelling the new experiences ahead and when you look back, you realize that life goes on and nobody gives a shit whether you stay or don't. And just in a matter of time you know who really matters the most and who doesn't.

At times you just happen to push the right people away unintentionally and when you realize that, it's just too late. 

Clinging to old things is pure human nature. No matter how pleasant or unpleasant those things are but at one point, you certainly are going to miss them. 

You just can't let go and maybe that's the barrier to happiness.

Most of the times you just keep going back and forth. Back to old places to see those old faces just to keep yourself sane and forth because you have to.

And at times you just want to merge them both, have the best of both worlds. But too bad that just isn't possible.

Living the moments

Life is a big mystery, one just doesn't know what's gonna happen next, yet we still try to live in the future planning years ahead of us or maybe live in the past regretting the mistakes we've made or reminiscing those joyful memories instead of living the moments. 

That's what we do most of the time isn't it?

We've forgotten what it's like to live in the present. We drag ourselves out of our beds everyday dull, tired and grumpy, following the usual routine so sick and tired of our lives. 

We have the chance to make anything right but instead we'll just sit around and regret what we did wrong.

You know life is full of surprises, you never know when and where but truly there are surprises anywhere or everywhere. Well good or bad surprise I can't really say. 

Turn that corner you could meet a new friend, turn another corner there could be a job opening somewhere waiting for you. 

Turn around maybe you'll find the book you've been looking for so long but couldn't find it anywhere. 

Saying someone goodbye without even knowing that it could be your last goodbye.

You know that's life.

We just don't know what's gonna happen. 

And knowing all this, we neglect those things or those people who matter the most in our lives. We are just so busy being self-centred.

Open your drawer where there lies a book you never even wanted to read . Read that, you might end up loving every bit of it.

Try out something new,  you never know you might be good at cooking or painting or lets say computers or you might even be good at writing poems.

Just try, how would you know if you don't even try. You might end up finding a new talent hidden inside you which you didn't even know existed..

We've trapped our lives in this tiny screen called cellphones, I mean what's the point of any of this. Telling people what your life is like or what are you upto. Well trust me nobody gives a shit about it. Nobody will show up at your doorsteps when you need them.

End of the day nobody cares except for family or a few close friends.

There's so much out there to explore. You don’t want to miss it, do you?  Yet, we have stopped looking and we are missing it every day. We walk right past life’s surprises in the rush and rut of our routines.  We are just stuck in our daily routines or long-term promises. It could be we just stopped believing in surprises altogether.

At times I just feel like packing my bags and going somewhere. I don't know where but out of this place for sometime somewhere where everyone is unfamiliar.

Yes that's me wanting to explore the unexplored beauty out there.

Ignorant as always...

I like being weird. Is it weird that I like being weird or being weird is too weird?
Okay that's too many weirds in one sentence. Okay I'll shutup :P

Well I don't know I just can't help it maybe it's one of my many personality disorders haha. At times people say I am a closed book because they find it very hard to understand me or the way I think. At times I am so sure that my friends might even think that m an alien from another planet but they don't say it out loud though. Well to be honest nobody can understand me, not even me at times.

The other day I was just reading an art book which my sister got for me from her visit to Florence, its related to famous paintings and sculptures. And to be honest after reading it I felt like I was born in the wrong era.
Just looking at their paintings and sculptures especially I couldn't stop being fascinated. A sculpture which looked like actual human flesh. It's just mind-boggling when you come of think of it.
When I talk about art and art history like that nobody really understands except for my sister.

I mean come to think of it art covers literally every subject, be it science, geometry, maths, chemistry everything yet we still take it as an unimportant academic subject.
The golden ratio, almost all the famous paintings even things in nature are based on the golden ratio, apparently its a mathematical figure. Even photography is based on it. Google it you'll know.
Take human body for example it's the biggest piece of art. What else do you want as a proof?
Our face is composed of different geometrical shapes, our eye is that one of those many creations that fascinates me more than anything, it appears as solid yet it's fluid. It's like a natural camera.

You know what our real problem is? The real problem is that we've stopped using our brains, we've stopped thinking. If we actually start thinking about these things we'll find the answers of those many unanswered questions we used to ask ourselves before. Everything is right there in front of us simple and clear yet we make it so complicated.

That One Friend.....

In life at times we get so busy chasing our dreams, our careers that we often get blinded. Blinded by hate, selfishness, our minds start revolving around technology, we become materialistic. We stop realizing or noticing the people around us. We only start thinking about ourselves, all we think about is I, what I want to do, what I have done, how I feel. And when that happens things eventually start going wrong. We start hurting our loved ones, our friends and family.

There comes a time when you have achieved everything that you wanted but you still feel empty. You still feel incomplete. You still feel unsatisfied.

I've come across alot of people who became my very good friends at some point in life, I actually started thinking that they'd stick with me for good but when time came they showed their true colours. And those same people now don't even bother saying hi. 

At times you befriend such people in life who make you forget everything, people with whom every minute seems beautiful, and you just want the time to freeze, with them nothing else seems important. They understand your unspoken words, they seem to read your mind everytime there's a wrinkle in your forehead. They can see your eyes and tell that you're scared, they know when you're happy, they know when you're sad. Talking to them for a few hours erases all your stress, it's just like meditation. They understand what nobody else does. With them every minute seems worth it.

If all you guys have that one friend who completely understands you, you're lucky, value them. Because trust me all your life you'll come across the most selfish people ever and you'll never know who has your best interests at heart.

So don't get too lost in your life that you stop noticing who and what matters the most.