You can't have it both ways.
It's mindfuck isn't it?
Well control means security. We want to feel safe all the time. We want to belief that we've got it all handled. We want to know what will happen next so that we don't have to worry about anything else.
The truth is we are never in control.
The magnitude of my dreams and goals scare me because at times it feels like that's all I've got.
Yes I'm afraid of making mistakes. I'm super cautious of what I do and I wouldn't be willing to take a risk most of the times. As crazy as I want myself to be I still want to have control.
You can't be crazy when you have puppet strings attached to you.
Which in return makes my creative side suffer most of the times.
Yes it's a lava of frustration, helplessness, depression, sadness, anger. And it's not pretty! It consumes you.
Just keeping yourself together in front of people pretending it's all cool breeze and happy sunny days when actually there is a volcano inside you just waiting to erupt.
There's no such thing as CONTROL.
But you can always BELIEVE that things will fall into place in it's own time.