Conflicted Contradiction

It's weird how something which used to be your escape from everything that used to bother you also starts bothering you.

Something that once gave you pleasure slowly starts looking like an everyday chore.

Something that once used make you get out of your bed every morning starts making you feel weird.

Slowly everything starts getting to you.

The people, the place, the things and everything that surrounds you.

It feels claustrophobic

It feels like you are tangled and tied to everything.

And the more you try to untangle those knots, more knots are made.

You feel as if the outer forces are just too much to take in.

Like everything in this world makes you want to crumble or just hide

You want to try new things

You want to have new experiences

You want to meet new people

But just the thought of it seems too overwhelming

You resist too much

You are scared of losing control

You feel anxious, desperate and you feel constantly on the edge of losing control.

You want to get out of your imaginary cage but you don't want to.

You are a conflicted contradiction.